"There's a growing malaise that young people suffer from . . . They feel that they're not to be trusted, they're not good people, . . . they're not worth anything, and they're not appreciated. And if you don't feel self-esteem, you tend to become a bit more reckless and a bit more careless, and willing to do things you otherwise would not." Victor Herbert, director of New York City high schools (Howe 82).

It's not just that we're young and stupid and think we're immortal. We know that we're not: during the 1980s, five thousand people between the ages of 15 and 25 killed themselves each year. "Today, for the first time ever recorded, Americans in their late teens and early 20s are more suicide prone than older Americans. Surveys show that 10 percent of adolescent boys and 18 percent of adolescent girls are willing to admit that they attempted suicide" (Howe 83). Brian planned to kill himself because he was failing shop-"I can't have an 'F.' And I know my parents can't." It wasn't just the fringe elements, it was the kids who seemed to be in control as well.

The cheesy guidance counselors have had us singing songs about our feelings since elementary school-I can still remember most of the words to one that begins, "It's all right to cry, crying gets the sad out of you . . ." And our parents carted us off to therapy sessions in record numbers. But still we've been largely unable to maintain the self-esteem that keeps us stable. Teen movie pirate DJ Hard Harry in Pump up the Volume remarks, "You look around, you see nothing real. But at least pain is real" and suicide can seem so "uncomplicated."

We've felt the need to participate in a myriad of dangerous and/or destructive activities-ranging from "extreme sports" like bungee jumping, on one end of the scale, to computer hacking, to eating disorders, all the way to suicide. Surely it's not all bad--our tendency toward risk gets exploited in everything from Nike ads ("Just do it") to the job market (have you ever seen a bike messenger in a hurry?) And we find ways to laugh at the worst of it. Take the cult-film Heathers, in which two teens knock off all the most popular assholes and make it look like a rash of suicides. (Christian Slater, who also portrayed Hard Harry, played the chief culprit, who kills himself in the end-he had kind of a monopoly on the dark side in the late 80s and we all thought he was sexy as hell). With "Teen Suicide (Don't Do It)" playing on their radios and Flower Child teachers saying idiotic things like, "Whether to kill yourself or not is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make," it's a little more "black" than "comedy," perhaps. But it's a survival tool. Laughter is the best medicine, right?

Allison: "A handgun?"

Brian: "No. It was a flare gun. It went off in my locker." 

Everyone tries unsuccessfully not to laugh. 

Brian: "It's not funny!" 

More laughter.

Brian: "Yes, it is." He laughs.